Every relationship needs a do-over from time to time. Unfortunately, there aren’t any marriage time machines. But God has the power to give new life through his Son and to redo relationships. The five marks found in every new life in Christ likely need to be restored for a marriage do-over.
1. Reinstated Lord:
If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. – Romans 10:9
Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!” – John 20:28
The best relationship do-overs begin with acknowledging God for who he is. Becoming a Christian involves accepting Jesus as Lord. And not just “The Lord.” But “my” Lord. Jesus is Lord of me and my marriage.
2. Revived Spirit:
What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us. – 1 Corinthians 2:12
Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other. – Galatians 5:25-26
When we receive Christ, we receive the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 1:13). But we can choose to quench the Spirit (1 Thessalonians 5:19) and live by our natural desires instead of by the Spirit. Relationship do-overs done God’s way involve getting in step with his Spirit.
3. Renewed Mind:
“We have the mind of Christ.” – 1 Corinthians 2:16
Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hid with Christ in God. – Colossians 3:2-3
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. – Romans 12:2
With God’s Spirit comes the ability to think—view life—as God does. That includes the way we view and think about our spouse. What does God think when He looks at your spouse? Spiritual do-overs require restored thinking so that we view our spouse as Jesus does.
4. Rekindled Love:
Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first. – Revelation 2:4
Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love…. Since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. – 1 John 4:8, 11
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. – Peter 4:8
Redoing a relationship always requires a true examination of our love. Love is the primary value that defines a Christian. Those who know God love above all.
5. Restored Works:
You have forsaken the love you had at first. Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. – Revelation 2:4-5
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord…. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. – Colossians 3:23-24
For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. – Ephesians 2:10
The Christian was created to do good works. That makes sense. Because love and good relationships take a lot of good works!